Torn Apart
by Dara Nitz
Summary: Alicia Spinnet tells Katie Bell something that flips Katie's world upside down. Alicia/Katie one-shot  femslash, respectively . & reviews would be nice...


**Author's Note:** This is one of my first fanfics (that I've ever posted) featuring my favorite HP pairing, Katie and Alicia.

This story has FLUFF x 1000! Believe me when I say that it's FLUFF to the max. Well, you'll figure it out when you start reading...

* * *

"_It's really you I want."_

Those words echoed through my mind as I laid in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling above me. Rain was pattering on the windows and inside the castle was cold as Hell, despite the House elves's effort of trying to keep the old castle warm.

Well, figuratively speaking, Hell isn't really thought to be as cold. It's supposedly hot and… Oh God, now I'm sounding like Hermione.

I sat up and pulled the curtains from my bed. My roommates were sleeping soundly, which didn't surprise me. How I wish I could have their "innocent," trouble-free minds. At least they don't have their best friends pouring out their soul and confessing that they are in love with you.

Alicia… She is quite beautiful. I love it when she smiles.

People have always said that she should smile more, but I haven't really seen a time when she wasn't smiling. I love it when she says my name too. It doesn't sound boring and unoriginal like when other people say it. Katie, Kate, Kat. It just sounds like a common name. But when Alicia says it, it sounds exotic and… not boring.

_Why must you do this to me Alicia? I'm torn apart. To choose between being with you and my parents rejecting me or making the biggest mistake of my life not being with you. That is the hardest thing._

_I didn't know it was possible to feel like this. I'm a train wreck._

I have to talk to her…

"Alicia?" I whispered as I pushed the heavy door of the girls' seventh year dormitory open, grateful that it didn't let out a squeak. I heard covers rustling in the darkness. She was still awake.

"Yeah?"

I smiled at the faint outline sitting up. "C-can I talk with you?"

More covers rustling. "Yeah… sure."

I tip-toed to the side of her bed as she lifted up the blankets and patted the space next to her. I nodded and slid between the warm sheets. Alicia shut the bed curtains and muttered a silencing spell under her breath then slowly turned towards me.

Before I knew it, I broke down crying. Alicia pulled me into a tight hug and started tracing circles on my back, telling me it was going to be all right. I almost drew blood from biting my lip too hard, trying to stop my immature, foolish crying.

'_I don't think it'll ever be alright… things will always crash down onto me.'_

"Alicia… I-I can't do it."

"Can't do what?" she whispered.

"You know damn well what! I can't do it... this!" I muttered with a slight shrill in my voice, which I later regretted.

After what seemed like eternity, Alicia whispered, "Look, I'm really sorry. I didn't want it to come out that way." She took a breath. "Not then. Not yet. I'm so sorry."

"No, no… It was bound to come up sometime. It's just that… this is a really hard decision for me. I don't even think I'm emotionally ready to be making decisions that will affect my whole life. I mean, I'm just sixteen for fuck's sake!" I said, burying my face in Alicia's night shirt. "I want to be with you so badly, Alicia… So badly, it hurts." I brought Alicia's hand to cover my thumping heart. "It hurts here..." I whispered.

I took a slow breath. "But, if I choose you, my parents, family - everyone close to me will reject me… I don't think I'm ready for that."

Alicia ran her fingers slowly up my bony t-shirt covered spine, making me shiver. "I… I won't reject you. You know that right? Whatever you choose to do... I'll be okay with it. I-I'll deal."

I pulled away from her and looked into her sincere hazel eyes. I tucked her hair behind her ears and nodded, my fingers trailing down her soft cheek. "I know."

She brought her hands to my face and wiped my tear-streaked cheeks, while a small tear ran down her own cheek.

I let out a small laugh. "Please don't start crying. It's enough drama with one girl crying…" I saw a small smile appear on her flawless face.

"Yeah, sorry... it's weird to see my cry, isn't it?"

I shook my head. "No, no… it's nice to see the softer side of you… you always act so tough all the time... so, so butch."

Alicia smiled, wiping her face. "Hey, what's wrong with being butch?"

"Nothing," I muttered, laying my cheek on Alicia's chest and wrapping my arms around her middle. I felt her sigh and lay back onto her pillows. She encased my head in her strong arms and stroked my hair. "Nothing at all..."

It's amazing to see how tough and strong she is on the Quidditch field; but when she's with me, she turns into a completely different person. Thoughtful, caring, nice... a complete gentleman - or woman.

We laid there for what seemed forever. I swear I felt years float by while we laid there; me being entranced by the cucumber-melon scent of Alicia's soap.

********

I came back, falling from my mental black abyss, to planet earth when I noticed Alicia was doodling shapes and letters on my back. She was humming a Weird Sisters song whose title escaped my mind at that moment.

"Alicia?"

She stopped her doodling and acknowledged me with a soft "uhm-hmm?"

I lifted my head from her chest, noticing a small wet spot on her baggy nightshirt. 'From my tears,' I thought, gently trying to wipe the stain away.

Alicia looked down to what I was fussing about, and took my figiting hand in hers. "Don't worry about that. What's wrong?"

I bit my lip. "I-I... I don't care what anyone thinks."

She cupped my chin in her palm and softly stroked the underside of my jaw. She didn't say anything, so I guess she was waiting for me to continue.

"A-a-and..." I stifled a small tear.

'A tear? Why are you crying Katie?' I mentally kicked myself.

Alicia patiently wiped the cascading tear away and smiled.

"I want to be with you. No matter what anyone thinks... heck, if my parents kick me out of their home to some remote area of the world, disowning me whatever... as long as I find myself back to you, I couldn't be happier. Alicia, with you... I am home."

From the cracks in Alicia's bedcurtains, I could see the late May sun rising from the dawn-sky.

Alicia raised my palm to her lips. "I love you."

Hearing those words a second time made me feel warm, giddy, fuzzy, swollen - truely loved, inside.

I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around her neck. My lips found hers, and I kissed her in the softest, sweetest way I knew.

When we broke apart, I rested my forehead on hers and gazed into her eyes.

" I love you too."


End file.
